who do i address when language only hurts us because we are inherently addressable
today we played a game where the first person on your mind is the one most important to you but mine was just the most replaceable
(eye contact in a library and i averted my eyes)
you made a monster of the girl you raised and you hate her.
i've already talked about myself too much today. cried in the shower before choking down breakfast like a good Taurus,
i don't want to go down this spiral again let's just pray it's pms.
it's strange. why are you here, of all people. some things feel easier like vilifying you. a talking point.
i don't recognize myself in the mirror
(what the hell is she wearing)
once a boy told me the dangers of setting my standards too low
would you look at that.
i can't bear to say a lot of things, like that i spend too much time texting you
i literally only text you
what the hell
(you forgot to use a vpn, didn't you)
i just feel like i can't talk to anyone in my school
i told her i can't afford to tell her anything because she's half my friend group
you know it's true,
none of my friends know anything about me (she thinks she does,
how exhausting)
don't fret about me
i'm not miserable because there are so many ways to numb this
but the sting. look at this ruin of hair caught in a razor
as it turns out, this was a bad time to call my mother
but honestly i've never been known for having great judgment
when i was a child i never wanted to grow into estella, but what can you do.
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