my sad playlist

i feel so depressed right about now
i felt slightly hopeful when jackie was talking to me
maybe people who think i'm annoying can make me happier
i don't really know

earthworms have five hearts to break
and they are invertebrates and no one will remember them
but we are made of skin and bones, we may be fossilized one day
yet we break easier; it's a fair trade
I guess, but earthworms die quickly

amber's sweet voice is cooing at me
there is no eerie stillness in the air
i am incredibly anxious for no reason,
and very restless, a void i can't fill

my brother isn't talking to me,
not because of anything, just... technical stuff
but i am judging myself harshly

i thought, for a second, you had me there, you know?
it was so good, as kfc says
but you are no israel and i am no emma
we cannot survive this way, even if israel is a 
bully with a heart;
i am no one

nina nesbitt says that it's the hardest part
not being able to get back together
and frankly i agree
but i know you don't look here anymore,
you won't read these words
and i feel slightly better

time doesn't heal just leaves me asking why

i am waiting for sleep
that day was beautiful but it is no longer
the life you choose to lead,
but i am still here

they asked me why i am still here
and i say it's because i still don't have my
roger, and it's not fair
don't tell me i already have him;
that would be too ironic even for you to say

your laugh lingers in the air long after you've gone,
i still remember your smile,
but i can't forget the sight of you crying
i almost cry at the memory
i feel so helpless, both then and now

karmin says that this neon love is making us blind
but i don't think we've even gone in that far
but she has him and you and her
and everything i have wanted or thought i wanted

i don't know

i feel so defined by how i think i resemble her,
ever since i made that observation a year ago.

your touch used to burn me up
now i'm not feeling anything at all...

that's not true, my skin still bristles when i 
run a pencil over it, a memory of
hot days and hair braiding and cats

too many memories to list here;
i shall make my exit graceful
before i descend into summertime wintertime sadness madness

if i were anyone at all, say lana del rey,  i would say kiss me hard before you go

but this is already the madness part